gold coast mayoral candidate guide

It's that time again - election time. All I hear on the radio is telling who to vote/not vote for. All I see on TV is ads telling you who to vote/not vote for. Signs up everywhere telling you who to vote for. Promises here, there and everywhere. Yet somehow I managed to forget that I have to vote tomorrow. I got a letter a few weeks ago saying what to do, where to do and some piece of paper that I was supposed to bring along with me on the day, but I've lost it. Anyway, lets see who's running for the title of Gold Coast Mayor this year:

Ron Clarke, Independent:
The current Mayor, looking to hang on to his title. Was a champion athlete who broke like 17 world records or something like that. Ads on the radio tell me that he's too old. He's 71. Maybe they have a point.

Tom Tate, Liberals:
Looks and sounds like a loser. Is a civil engineer though, so I guess that's where I can relate to him. I guess he's the Gold Coast version of Brisbane's own Can Do Campbell. Part owner of the Gold Coast Blaze basketball team, which is cool.

Rob Molhoek, Unite GC:
Has an unprenounceable surname, something that his radio ads focus on - apparently spoken by people who have known him for ages, still can't pronounce his last name but he's a good bloke anyway. So what, if you can't pronounce someone's name they're an idiot? Anyway, he's a shareholder and founding director of the Gold Coast Titans NRL team. That's cooler than owning part of the Blaze.

John Bradford, Independent:
Not really sure about this guy, he has a bald head and glasses from the signs I see on the way to work with his face plastered on them. Admittedly I've only ever seen two of these signs, and both are in front of the same house.

Ray Schearer, Independent:
Another no-name. Apparently has a US accent and was a professional dog trainer.

Anyway that's the lineup. Notable missing faces are Warwick Capper (the attention-seeking tool with the short shorts) and Elvis impersonator Dean Vegas (who forgot to put his nomination in on time). Based on all that, I think I can make a better decision on who to vote for.

I'm off to watch the Titans play the season opener against the Cowboys tonight, so I may as well vote for Rob Mohawk. Mullhook. Mowhulk. Whatever. How's that for logic?